


Mountain Dew, Mountain Don't

by Stylin_Breeze



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, EnnoAka Weekend, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylin_Breeze/pseuds/Stylin_Breeze
Summary: Akaashi claims to be caffeine-sensitive. Ennoshita isn't sure what that means.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Ennoshita Chikara
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22





	Mountain Dew, Mountain Don't

**Author's Note:**

> For EnnoAka Weekend 2020

In the gym at training camp earlier, Akaashi made an unusual offer when Chikara yawned.

“Did you want this Mountain Dew?”

He extended the luscious green can, shimmering in frosty condensation. “I bought the wrong thing at the vending machine. I don’t drink caffeine.”

What an odd statement, but Ennoshita accepted the offer anyway. He recalled his mom always said caffeine was for adults when she refused to serve him at tea parties. “You have youth,” she cryptically quipped.

Despite being unable to sleep that evening, Chikara couldn’t blame caffeine though; he hadn’t opened the soda.

Amidst the sea of snores and exhales from his teammates, Chikara shuffled out of his futon at 9 p.m. and tiptoed into the hall to hopefully walk off the last bit of restlessness.

He was surprised to find harsh blue light splintering out of a cracked door in the club building. Ennoshita peeked inside and was assaulted by a light so strong it felt like he entered a portal.

A computer screen shone brightly in the room. The person in front of the screen typed and deleted, typed and deleted, sipped water, typed and deleted.

“Akaashi?” Chikara asked with confusion.

Keiji Akaashi didn’t flinch. “Ennoshita,” and then he yawned so long it looked like a gorilla’s worth of breath had been taken in. “Sorry.” He rubbed his eyes adamantly. “I’m not sure I’m going to finish this paper tonight.”

“Is it due?”

“Not for another month.”

Chikara chose not to comment.

“But we’re supposed to send a rough draft in ahead of time,” Keiji belatedly appended.

 _Why not say that first?_ , the tired Chikara questioned silently. “You look tired.”

“I want the rough draft done, but it’s proving harder than I expected to stay awake. It’s not a hard deadline, but we should really have it in tomorrow.” His lungs inhaled another gorilla. “I’m starting to wish I still had that Mountain Dew I gave you.”

“I think you need it. You said the deadline isn’t hard and fast, but I get wanting to put school first. Want me to grab it?”

“No, thank you. I’m sensitive to the caffeine.”

 _Aren’t we just young?_ Chikara thought and then shook the thought out of his head for sounding like his mother.

“Tell you what. I’ll place it on your desk, and you can choose to drink it if you want. You’re from another team, so I’m not going to tell you what to do—whether to get some rest for practice tomorrow, don’t drink caffeine, whatever—but you know you, so just be mindful.”

Akaashi thanked Ennoshita (for what exactly, Chikara had no clue) and resumed the process of puzzling over the next line of the essay. Chikara returned with the lukewarm can. Akaashi brushed the surface as if he were inspecting it for forensic evidence.

“Night, Akaashi.”

“Goodnight. Thank you, Ennoshita.”

Chikara got back into his futon. His active mind fizzling out, he pondered how bad Akaashi’s caffeine sensitivity might be before sleep prevailed.

It was 2 a.m..

“Ennoshita…Ennoshita…”

The rhythmic whisper roused Chikara gently. He felt his body rocking, because Akaashi was nudging his shoulder.

“Akaashi?” Chikara batted his tired eyes.

“Come. Let me show you….”

Ennoshita stepped through the sea of his sleeping teammates to follow Akaashi to the computer room. Keiji led Chikara to the monitor, when Ennoshita inadvertently kicked an empty soda can into the wall. He flinched, hoping the aluminum racket didn’t wake anyone. Chikara realized it was the Mountain Dew can, now dry as a bone.

“Look. I finished.” Akaashi directed Ennoshita to the screen.

“Oh? You got your rough draft done?”

“And I wanted to thank you.”

Akaashi was doing an awful lot of thanking tonight.

“For what?”

“For getting me to overcome my fear of caffeine.”

_Fear?_

“Oh? Well, you finished your paper? That’s good,” Chikara smiled, uneasy that he’d be woken up for this.

“Paper? Oh, the one I did for high school?”

_For high school?_

“Yeah,” and something possessed Chikara to ask another question, realizing the paper onscreen was adorned with complex graphs and statistics. “What’s this then?”

“My doctoral dissertation.”

Ennoshita jerked forward and tried deciphering the document. Except it was so full of scientific jargon, he hadn’t a clue what it was about, though something about the hypersonic effects of caffeine consumption, he thought….

“Not only that…”

Chikara checked over his shoulder. He realized that against the backwall was a desk with another computer, displaying stocks. It hadn’t been there earlier.

“JAL or ANA?” Keiji asked.

“Uh, JAL?”

“OK,” Keiji said with a smile. He proceeded to type at the monitor. He waited patiently. Then his face lit up. He swung the monitor around to show Chikara the chosen stock’s performance.

“That was a good hunch. Japan Airlines just lost 90% of its shares. I’m glad I sold my 55% ownership on your advice just in time.”

“How did you get money to buy stock?!”

“From my patents,” Keiji said, without elaborating. He then skipped cheerfully over to a printer that was incessantly spewing out posters.

“When did all this stuff get in here?”

“Oh, I bought the school at 11:30 and had it delivered,” he said casually and handed the heavy stack of 500 sheets to Ennoshita. “Also, I’m running for election in Miyagi. Could you distribute these posters when you return?”

Ennoshita read the slogan: “Healthcare. Defense. Caffeine.”

“Thank you, Ennoshita, for your help.”

Keiji then dug in a pristine Louis Vuitton handbag on the desk. “By the way, Ennoshita, do you like horseback riding?”

“Why do I feel the answer is no?”

Akaashi extended a business card, advertising horseback lessons.

“I’d like to invite you to my 500 million square kilometer ranch. The helicopter’s outside. After all, you’re the reason I accomplished all this.”

“H-how did _I_ do all this?!”

“You gave me the Mountain Dew. With all the energy, I couldn’t stop.” He flashed a newspaper article with an unbelievable headline. “I even denuclearized North Korea.

“Ah. But you may not want to go back to Karasuno. I purchased the schoolgrounds as a uranium dumpsite.”

Ennoshita jumped up, sweating profusely.

He was sitting in his futon, everyone still asleep.

Chikara dashed out of bed, bare feet pattering past his teammates.

He sprinted down the hall, searching for the portal of blue light.

He ripped open the door.

Fingers primed to pop open the Mountain Dew can, Akaashi with perplexity peered at Ennoshita.

“Ennoshita? May I say thank you for the Mountain Dew? I got some more work done, and I think a sip of this might get me through the last few paragraphs….”

Chikara swiped the can from the setter’s hands and flipped it into the wastebasket.

“Sleep is good for the soul. You’re going to bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this silliness. ~Breeze


End file.
